I haven't blogged about this fast because I never really knew if I was going to continue it one day to the next. Now, since I'm beginning day 6, I guess it is enough of an entity for me to blog about. Plus, doing this actually gives me a couple of extra molecules of stability in being able to continue it.
I can say that I don't like my physical existence as much when I am not fasting regularly. My fasts center me and give me a truer perspective of how much undeserved importance we fasten to food. For me to go six days, and longer, with no real discernable effects is proof, to me, that eating was one of the most overrated activities in my life.
Once I begin to eat again, I will follow an organic path that's full of fiber and nutritious content but unfortunately, if the past is any sort of dependable predictor at all, my relationship with my oral consumptive activities will deteriorate. It has happened, without fail, every time. My brain and my tongue stage a coup d'etat over my heart and my body. They being plotting by implusing odd urges and it grows until I try one. It begins with a bag of chips and escalates over time to anything with a candy wrapper around it.
We'll see. This time I intend to develop a new relationship with food. Maybe God will help me if I ask Him.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday, July 18, 2008
Days 8 & 9, July 17th and 18th
Who has any idea of why I didn't post yesterday? Not me. No clue.
Perhaps it was because I was so consumed with the idea of eating a double butterburger. I could not get eating off my mind yesterday!
I am guessing, perhaps, that the absolutely foul, metallic taste that thickly coats my tongue and inner oral cavity is the culprit. The taste is like concentrated animal vomit and I can't get it by brushing or rinsing. I tried to chew a piece of organic, sugarless gum and it was way too sweet for me. I had to spit it out.
Anyway, this is my eighth and ninth day report to myself. Onward I march. I have normal energy and not much is different except for the fact that I'm not eating.
Perhaps it was because I was so consumed with the idea of eating a double butterburger. I could not get eating off my mind yesterday!
I am guessing, perhaps, that the absolutely foul, metallic taste that thickly coats my tongue and inner oral cavity is the culprit. The taste is like concentrated animal vomit and I can't get it by brushing or rinsing. I tried to chew a piece of organic, sugarless gum and it was way too sweet for me. I had to spit it out.
Anyway, this is my eighth and ninth day report to myself. Onward I march. I have normal energy and not much is different except for the fact that I'm not eating.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Day 7 - Wednesday, July 16th
Unfortunately I don't have anything much more interesting to say than the lame stuff I scratched down yesterday.
I walked to work today and felt pretty good. My vision is a bit blurry but nothing bothersome. I feel a bit tired but no more so than I feel when I am eating like a pig.
So unless something noteworthy occurs today, which would compel me to write to myself on this blog (highly doubtful), I will sign off for today and try to come up with something a little more interesting for tomorrow (no guarantees).
I walked to work today and felt pretty good. My vision is a bit blurry but nothing bothersome. I feel a bit tired but no more so than I feel when I am eating like a pig.
So unless something noteworthy occurs today, which would compel me to write to myself on this blog (highly doubtful), I will sign off for today and try to come up with something a little more interesting for tomorrow (no guarantees).
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Days 1,2,3,4 & 5 (the 6th being July 15th)
I wish to acknowledge, and then dismiss, the fact that I began my fast five days ago and did not journal it in this blog. I have over-thought the handful of plausible explanations that might clarify my episodic dementia, but have adopted not-a-one as usable (that’s why I made my motion to dismiss the subject once I run through the excuses).
Perhaps I was lazy. Maybe I just didn’t believe that I would be able to continue this, particular fast to any significant point and rather than bother with journaling a failure, I just wanted to make sure it got off the ground (this seems to be the best excuse even though its accuracy must remain in doubt). It could be that I didn’t want to make a commitment to myself to actually begin another fast and blogging it would have forced me into it. In the end, who knows and who cares. This is only me talking to me anyway, so onward I go with my chronicle of the experience.
I have had many failures and false starts in the interim between the last 6 day fast and this one. I wanted to begin quite a few times but there always seemed to be an important inconvenience or a handy, perfect excuse pleading with me to use it. This commitment problem could speak to my lack of purpose in this fast. This should probably be added to the list of good excuses for not chronicling in the preceding paragraph. So now I will speak to this issue of purpose.
I am fasting because it amazes me that I can do it. So maybe it gives my self-esteem a bump up to witness the self-control that I can muster against my instinctual, carnal drives. I’m not admitting to this, just mentioning it as a possibility. Through the miniscule amount of reading that I have done on the subject (albeit emanating from very credible and believable authority), I am convinced that this is a healthy pursuit. I would never put myself in the position of recommending it to anyone else, but for me it is a very worthwhile pursuit for several reasons: It cleans me out physically and psychologically; I lose a little weight which takes me to a healthier place; I have more time to think about things other than the preparation , buying, fantasizing, eating and post-consumptive remorse, of food; I have been coming across more and more reference to fasting as a spiritual tool in my continued study of the Bible . . . so I think I’m covered on many beneficial fronts.
This actual experience is not much different than what I remember the other ones being. I am in my mid-sixth day and am not feeling any negative effects of not having eaten any solid food for almost a week. The liquid that I have consumed has primarily been water but there have been a couple of cups of tea a day as well. Other than yesterday, when I drank a glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice, I have not had any juice at all.
I am able to walk about an hour and a half a day without noticing any lack of energy at all. In fact, I have been reading a fascinating book authored by Richard J. Foster entitled, “Freedom of Simplicity” which has put my spirit in an easy state of comfort. I would recommend this book as the perfect compliment, as a matter of fact, to any fast. Maybe I will read another of his books during the next fast I engage in.
So, with this nonsensical monologue having run its course to boredom, I will sign off. Perhaps tomorrow I will have something more interesting to note.
Perhaps I was lazy. Maybe I just didn’t believe that I would be able to continue this, particular fast to any significant point and rather than bother with journaling a failure, I just wanted to make sure it got off the ground (this seems to be the best excuse even though its accuracy must remain in doubt). It could be that I didn’t want to make a commitment to myself to actually begin another fast and blogging it would have forced me into it. In the end, who knows and who cares. This is only me talking to me anyway, so onward I go with my chronicle of the experience.
I have had many failures and false starts in the interim between the last 6 day fast and this one. I wanted to begin quite a few times but there always seemed to be an important inconvenience or a handy, perfect excuse pleading with me to use it. This commitment problem could speak to my lack of purpose in this fast. This should probably be added to the list of good excuses for not chronicling in the preceding paragraph. So now I will speak to this issue of purpose.
I am fasting because it amazes me that I can do it. So maybe it gives my self-esteem a bump up to witness the self-control that I can muster against my instinctual, carnal drives. I’m not admitting to this, just mentioning it as a possibility. Through the miniscule amount of reading that I have done on the subject (albeit emanating from very credible and believable authority), I am convinced that this is a healthy pursuit. I would never put myself in the position of recommending it to anyone else, but for me it is a very worthwhile pursuit for several reasons: It cleans me out physically and psychologically; I lose a little weight which takes me to a healthier place; I have more time to think about things other than the preparation , buying, fantasizing, eating and post-consumptive remorse, of food; I have been coming across more and more reference to fasting as a spiritual tool in my continued study of the Bible . . . so I think I’m covered on many beneficial fronts.
This actual experience is not much different than what I remember the other ones being. I am in my mid-sixth day and am not feeling any negative effects of not having eaten any solid food for almost a week. The liquid that I have consumed has primarily been water but there have been a couple of cups of tea a day as well. Other than yesterday, when I drank a glass of unsweetened grapefruit juice, I have not had any juice at all.
I am able to walk about an hour and a half a day without noticing any lack of energy at all. In fact, I have been reading a fascinating book authored by Richard J. Foster entitled, “Freedom of Simplicity” which has put my spirit in an easy state of comfort. I would recommend this book as the perfect compliment, as a matter of fact, to any fast. Maybe I will read another of his books during the next fast I engage in.
So, with this nonsensical monologue having run its course to boredom, I will sign off. Perhaps tomorrow I will have something more interesting to note.
Monday, April 7, 2008
The End of Fast Number 2
I returned from my retreat yesterday and broke my fast. So it's over and it did not run the duration of what I have predicted or expected, but that happens. I am not discouraged. Much good was done.
To summarize, I went from Monday through Sunday and broke the fast on Sunday night. So that is six full days.
It was easier this second time than it was the first, but there was not really any difficulty on either one. The hardest part was the first day.
I will be cranking another one up shortly . . .
To summarize, I went from Monday through Sunday and broke the fast on Sunday night. So that is six full days.
It was easier this second time than it was the first, but there was not really any difficulty on either one. The hardest part was the first day.
I will be cranking another one up shortly . . .
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Day Four 6:32 AM
Another day presents itself. It's early and we'll see how the day goes, but I am extraordinarily introspective this morning. I don't know if I have more RAM available in my frontal lobe because I am not thinking about what I am going to eat or regretting what I just ate, but it seems like it is easier for me to sink into nice, calm reflection sessions with myself while I am fasting.
I have been thinking about how much we are trapped by our habits. How much we do without thinking, just reflexively because we have developed these "habits" of lifestyle behaviors. Some of them can be better defined as addictions but the word "habit" is easier to accept in order to move ahead with this particular reflection.
Unfortunately, most of our habitual behaviors have short-term purposes without any connection to long-term outcomes. I say "most" because there are some habits that are specifically initiated in order to achieve desired long-term outcomes. The habit of studying, for example, has the long-term benefit of achieving some sort of desired academic outcome. Another one would be exercise which would bring about the desired long-term outcome of improved health.
But there are many, many other habits that we allow to occupy big swaths of our lives that have invented and inserted themselves into our routines with NO positive long-term outcome. We have allowed these almost-invisible demons to invade, occupy and, many times, direct our lives in undesireable ways. One huge example of this would be watching television. It induces a comatose effect on our intelligence. Another huge example of this would be eating, which has resulted in an obesity epidemic around the world. These things are the result of unplanned and unwanted habitual behaviors that cause unplanned and unwanted long-term outcomes.
So why am I saying all of this? Because I am demonstrating to myself the ease with which I can control my habits by this fasting experiment. I am out-of-the-habit of eating every time I get a twinge to eat. I have broken the cycle of eating right before I go to bed and because I have now developed this behavior into a "habit", it's easy.
We are such creatures of habit that it isn't even funny. Habits drive our lives and if we allow habits to become addictions (this is another blog subject in and of itself) then we become lost, victims of unwanted and unplanned outcomes. Our self-esteem plummets and our feelings of helplessness and depression increase. We grow quickly to believe that we have no control over our waistlines, our appearances, our health and our lives and just "give up" on trying to control them anymore.
My tiny example of one, completely unspectacular and boringly normal, man's ability to completely stop eating solid food for a not-insignificant period of time is noteworthy evidence that we have absolute control over our short and long-term outcomes.
Please believe me when I say that "if I can do it, anyone can". It doesn't take much more than a sincere desire and a day-at-a-time strategy.
I have been thinking about how much we are trapped by our habits. How much we do without thinking, just reflexively because we have developed these "habits" of lifestyle behaviors. Some of them can be better defined as addictions but the word "habit" is easier to accept in order to move ahead with this particular reflection.
Unfortunately, most of our habitual behaviors have short-term purposes without any connection to long-term outcomes. I say "most" because there are some habits that are specifically initiated in order to achieve desired long-term outcomes. The habit of studying, for example, has the long-term benefit of achieving some sort of desired academic outcome. Another one would be exercise which would bring about the desired long-term outcome of improved health.
But there are many, many other habits that we allow to occupy big swaths of our lives that have invented and inserted themselves into our routines with NO positive long-term outcome. We have allowed these almost-invisible demons to invade, occupy and, many times, direct our lives in undesireable ways. One huge example of this would be watching television. It induces a comatose effect on our intelligence. Another huge example of this would be eating, which has resulted in an obesity epidemic around the world. These things are the result of unplanned and unwanted habitual behaviors that cause unplanned and unwanted long-term outcomes.
So why am I saying all of this? Because I am demonstrating to myself the ease with which I can control my habits by this fasting experiment. I am out-of-the-habit of eating every time I get a twinge to eat. I have broken the cycle of eating right before I go to bed and because I have now developed this behavior into a "habit", it's easy.
We are such creatures of habit that it isn't even funny. Habits drive our lives and if we allow habits to become addictions (this is another blog subject in and of itself) then we become lost, victims of unwanted and unplanned outcomes. Our self-esteem plummets and our feelings of helplessness and depression increase. We grow quickly to believe that we have no control over our waistlines, our appearances, our health and our lives and just "give up" on trying to control them anymore.
My tiny example of one, completely unspectacular and boringly normal, man's ability to completely stop eating solid food for a not-insignificant period of time is noteworthy evidence that we have absolute control over our short and long-term outcomes.
Please believe me when I say that "if I can do it, anyone can". It doesn't take much more than a sincere desire and a day-at-a-time strategy.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Day Two 9:09 AM
I don't have a lot to say to myself today. It's day two and it's my birthday. I told Tere to make me an ice cake since I'm fasting and can only drink water. I am really funny, aren't I?
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